Tottenham Heading For the Championship.
Det är som bekant elakt att sparka på den som ligger, men ibland kan man inte låta bli. Nätet kryllar just nu av lysande till mindre bra skämt om Tottenham Hotspur. Här kommer några smakprov, men glöm inte att bjuda på de ni läser eller kommer på själva.
Kom bara ihåg att nästa gång kan det vara Er klubb man skrattar åt!
- A man is sitting in a pub with his jack russell dog one Sunday afternoon. The football results are coming up on the television in the corner: “Stoke City 2, Tottenham Hotspur 1,” reads the announcer. Suddenly the jack russell jumps up and shouts out, “Oh, no, not again.” The shocked landlord says, “That’s amazing. Why did he say that when it was announced that Tottenham lost?” “Because he’s a Spurs supporter,” the dog’s owner replies. The landlord then asks what the dog says when Tottenham win a match, to which the man replies, “I don’t know. I’ve only had him six months.”
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“You can buy ‘Spurs, The Glory Years’ from most shops, priced £200. That’s £5 for the tape and £195 for the Betamax player.”
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A Premiership match on the weekend is under investigation due to suspicious betting patterns — Someone has bet a fiver on Tottenham to beat Bolton
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What do the Premier League and a cowboy have in common? They both have spurs at their feet.
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Apparently the entire Tottenham squad have been busy honing their skills playing the computer game Championship Manager. Sadly it seems Juande misunderstood and thinks they want to play for a Championship manager.
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“You can buy ‘Spurs, The Glory Years’ from most shops, priced £200. That’s £5 for the tape and £195 for the Betamax player.”
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I just went down to the newsagents and bought Tottenham Hotspur magazine. Thank goodness they had porn mags to hide it in.
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What’s the difference between between a samosa and Spurs? A samosa has got 3 points!
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“I was playing Scrabble and had enough letters to make ‘Tottenham Hotspur Football Club’. I was gutted when I found out it was only worth two points.”
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A man is pulled over by a policeman and the cop says, “You were driving a little erratically back there, do you mind if I give you a breathalyser test?”
The man responds by producing a card labelled “THIS MAN IS AN ASTHMATIC. PLEASE DO NOT BREATHALYSE.”
The cop says “OK, why don’t you come to the station so I can test your blood?” The man then … Read Moreproduces a card reading “THIS MAN IS A HAEMOPHILIAC. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE BLOOD.”
The cop then says “No matter, I can test your urine and you’ll be fine. “The man produces a third card reading “THIS MAN IS A TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR FAN. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THE PISS.”
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Vår favoritkorrespondent Jens Littorin skrev en läsvärd text om just alla Spurs-skämt i dagens DN, men tyvärr hittar jag inte den på nätet. Mitt bidrag får bli just den som du skickade på mail igår;
I met this really kinky girl last night. ‘Humiliate me,’ she said … So I bought her a Tottenham shirt”
Fick lite fler Spurs-skämt på mejlen. Klistrar in nedan:
Haringey council has blocked Tottenham’s plans to build a new ground on Northumberland Park. A town hall source said: ‘We don’t mind having a funfair there once a year, but a circus every fortnight is a bit much.’
Tesco are releasing new Oxo cubes in Spurs colours. Customers are told to look out for laughing stocks.
A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live. ‘What about your parents?’ asks the social worker. ‘No, they beat me,’ says the boy. ‘What about your grandparents?’ says the social worker. ‘No, they beat me even harder!’ says the boy. ‘Well … where do you want to stay then?’ replies the social worker. ‘Tottenham,’ says the boy. ‘They don’t beat anyone.
What do a toothpick and Tottenham have in common? They both have two points
Juande Ramos, shortly after another training session, comments to the head groundsman at White Hart Lane how impressive the pitch is looking. ‘It ought to,’ replies the groundsman. ‘We put 70 million quid’s worth of manure on it every week.’
What does a Spurs fan do after he sees his team win? Turns off the Xbox
After leaving San Siro, Jose Mourinho was asked if he was going to help Spurs get out of their slump. He turned around and said, ‘No way, I ain’t that special’.
Apparently the entire Tottenham squad have been busy honing their skills playing the computer game Championship Manager. Sadly it seems Juande misunderstood and thinks they want to play for a Championship manager.
Contrary to what you may think, Spurs are the strongest team in the league at the moment. Sure, aren’t they holding everyone else up?
What do the Premier League and a cowboy have in common? They both have spurs at their feet.
A man was found dead floating in the Thames, wearing a blond wig, full make-up, bra, knickers, suspenders and a Spurs shirt. Before informing the next of kin the police removed the Spurs shirt to save the family embarrassment.
What would an improved version of Spurs be called? Newcastle United.
Did you hear that Juande Ramos was clocked doing 169mph on the M1 coming back from Stoke? Apparently he was just so desperate for three points.
Is it just me or are Spurs the team to beat this season? Everyone’s at it.
When a groggy Vedran Corluka regained consciousness in the ambulance leaving the Britannia Stadium on Sunday he asked medical staff who he was. On being told he played football for Tottenham Hotspur he lapsed into a coma.
All trains through White Hart Lane have been cancelled due to a massive points failure.
What’s the difference between Juande Ramos and a cowboy? A cowboy wears Spurs on his boots whereas Ramos is a crap manager.
Guardian listade 25 st iallafall:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/oct/21/tottenham-hotspur-jokes
http://www.tottenhamhotspur.com/news/articles/clubannouncement251008.html
Jaha, gör detta att vi får fortsätta skratta eller var detta exakt vad som behövdes för uppryckning?!